Tuesday, February 17, 2015

snip snip

Pervasive
uncouth
unsanctioned

**

There's a building down the lane,
its windows blackened by
years of abandonment and dust.
They all drive past without so much as a glance
but inside is a nothingness so complete
inside is where i want to be
send me to oblivion
oblivion with you.

**

Standing on the fault line,
watching the space between my feet grow.
If I keep treading two paths
I'll be torn apart and tread no more.
I can't cling to this branch
and covet the ones above
but abandoning the girl I was
to pursue the me at the top of the mountain
makes me free in place,
terrified (of the potential).
maybe i should welcome the fall,
give in the tempting oblivion of the abyss...

**

Your mine / you're mine

**

Scum on the surface
cloudy but acceptable beneath.
nothing's pristine --
no, not anything worth substantial (having/being/wanting).

**

Beneath the line
lies a sine wave that isn't regular
but one that peaks and falls at random.

**

electricity is made between the hairs of your arm and my fingertips

**

The world outside
doesn't understand the microcosm inside me
but i don't either
so it remains uncharted.
to explain my actions or my words
would stump the best translator,
would trouble the wisest philosopher.
as i'm neither, i know even less.

**

ignite the engine and shift into gear
start the ignition
and shift it into gear.
we're racing away
because we just can't stay here.
running so fast in these circles as we do
i'm dizzy and lost in the tiny space i occupy.

**

tap your feet!
clap your hands!
celebrate the shards within yourself
that you haphazardly glued back together.
they won't stay intact forever or more.
nay, they'll likely be shattered again
but celebrate still,
since the patchwork that's your heart
was won by struggle and loss and great pain
and forged by love and hope and resilience.

**

why apologize for who you are?
your weaknesses soften your pride,
your shortcomings give you trajectory/perspective/the drive to ascend.

lost in the minutiae,
lost in the star dust.
will anyone find me outside the safety of my own shell?

**

My mind is racing,
feet are pacing,
and I'm bracing
myself for a storm


Look What You Started pt2?

you turn my insides out
but only in a good way
you destroy the power of my weaknesses
and all I can do is thank you.

and i feel more alive
than i ever did before...

Progress

The tears don't come as often now
but there's a well of salty water
and its bucket never comes up empty.
I'm still broken inside somehow
but I'm learning to live again

Don't feed my lies anymore;
the truth cuts deep but it's better
to accept the beauty of your life
than to linger in the shadow of a dream.
Death comes for all men, even you.

**

He who casts the biggest shadow causes the biggest catastrophe / shatters the most glass ? / idk? when he falls.

Blegh

take a step, recognize...
the hot coals you're about to tread across.
the fire inside you burns bright
but it's running out of fuel
and the world outside your skin
just keeps burning with an eternal flame

take a step, realize...
sacrifice only pays off when rewards trump penance
temporal utopia,
you're no place to build a fortress.
great minds don't meet on burning bridges
so keep yours great and burn alone.

**

time erodes what tears don't wash away

**

time uproots saplings
before they've the courage
to invest in themselves.
grow on, sapling, grow up to the sky
grow on, sapling, grow deep in the earth.

**

Look at me...

**

Real life intrudes on so many things.

**

Pineapple mysteries
mango monstrositites
each and every one of them
fictional

Synonymous synchrony
telephonic telepathy
undressing underpants
welted weimeraners whimper wildly
xeroxing x-rays exists to exonerate ex-convicts
yonder: your younger years
zany zoologists zig and zag.

**

Differentials divide us
even evangelists
find frank friends
grin, gladly giving
hospitality and health

Monday, February 16, 2015

Snippety

"You're perfectly fantastic,"
she said with a smile
(the type of hyperbole
that's going out of style).

**

What I'm giving up
is worth what I'm
getting in exchange/return
so I'll accept the sacrifice.

**

There's life in these things.
There are years in the spines of these books
There's wisdom ground into the dust on the shelf.
But while their lives may have held our memories
These things don't hold our lives in their hands
We're still here and it will be better soon.

**

It's not that I don't appreciate the attention;
I just cannot handle the way I react.
My body betrays me with each passing moment;
I'll be at your feet before much more time's passed.


But this tale's a tragedy
(didn't you hear?):
When it's all over...

**

Clouds crawl across the sky

**

There's depth in simplicity,
wisdom in silent confidence
(or so I've been told;
I've not been there yet).

Ashes Anyway

Fire!
Do I feed it or stamp it out?
Fire!
You struck that damn match
when you walked out!

The choice remains:
Do I step out from the flames?
Or do I pull you in here with me
to dance on in the blaze?

By the time,
by the time the story's told
we'll be ashes anyway!
Forgiveness may set you free
but revenge is so sweet.

Fire,
burning up my heart and mind!
Fire
steals your heart
and then it robs you blind!

Fiery tongues
lick my wounds and stir my pain,
But blood and tears
can't hold a candle to this rage!

By the time,
by the time the story's told
we'll be ashes anyway!
Forgiveness may set you free
but revenge is so sweet.

By the time,
by the time the story's told
we'll be ashes anyway!
Forgiveness may set you free
but revenge is so sweet.

**

Even better with music: Butcher the Baker.

Barely ideas

Poetic regret

*

Song title: "If Only"

*

Super hype
ballastic action
You cannot add but love subtraction
don't let a postscript go on Impactin'
I can't replace that thing you're lacking
so just go on and do you. (??)

*

El Mustachio, the dwarven warrior, had the biggest awesomest mustache until his battles led him into the lava pits of Farjeen. Farjeen was the center of operations for Dr. Evil-Pants (who swears he existed long before Mike Myers stopped killed people and marrying axe murderers and started the Austin Powers movies). Since he'd had this honorific for nearly fifteen years, El Mustachio kept it even after his singed skin had begun to blister and fall from his face.


Denial

It's not that I love you,
It's not that I care;
It's just that I miss
every single thing
when you're not standing there.

It's not that I need you
(I'm not as empty as I feel).
The clouds in my eyes
are only clear
if you've waded in them before.

I'm not gonna love you forever,
I'm not gonna wish on a star
that you'll be mine again.
No, that would be childish
and you stole all my innocence
when you left.
So I'll just deny that
there's any heartache
for me to forget.

Some days I am haunted
by a memory or two.
I barely feel my
broken heart if the
distraction's good.

So, "carpe diem" but
I don't seize much these days
why is karma
so cavalier about
the wounds that it makes?


I'm not gonna love you forever,
I'm not gonna wish on a star
that you'll be mine again.
No, that would be childish
and you stole all my innocence
when you left.
So I'll just deny that
there's any heartache
for me to forget.

**

Coming soon from Butcher the Baker.

Passive-agressive

Thank you for calling, but fuck you.

If this were an emergency like [insert humorous emergency presented callously], there would be someone on the phone. Instead, continue to listen to this crappy music and wait for another arbitrary length of time.

If this is an emergency, call 9-1-1 or just let nature take its course and weed out the unfittest.

**

Is it terrible that this post amuses me so much?

Minor Catastrophe (Minor Awful)

I see you
I hear you
I smell you
I taste you
I feel you with
every step,
every blink,
every breath,
everything.

But you're not here...
And I ache with
every sight
every sound
every touch.
All I taste is salty tears
All I smell's the end...

But don't worry:
My world ended over here
while you weren't looking
I just have to keep moving,
moving on.



Running on Empty

Daily grind:
Not all that hard
but damn boring.
When did life
lose all its colors?
What am I searching for
and when will I find it?

It's not that I need something
new around every corner
(I'm too old for that),
but I need a little something more
to care about
or I just won't care at all.

Life is more,
oh, so much more than I'm living!
Pursuing dreams
means so much more than I'm giving
and I don't know how to live life to the fullest
when I'm running on empty!

Close your eyes:
What's left when you are all alone?
I close mine:
So rich the colors!
It's the choice that's so hard;
when will I make it?

I've got more talents
than I've any right to have
and blessings overflow my cup,
but I need a someone to steer me true
or I just won't steer at all.

Life is more,
oh, so much more than I'm living!
Pursuing dreams
means so much more than I'm giving
and I don't know how to live life to the fullest
when I'm running on empty!

Life is more,
oh, so much more than I'm living!
Pursuing dreams
means so much more than I'm giving
and I don't know how to live life to the fullest
when I'm running on empty!

**

As much as Shaun fought against the song title, it still became a pretty respectable jam. Find out more about Butcher the Baker here.

snippeting

beautiful apathy
trendy agony
what we value
in the midst of armageddon
is only a breath away
because we are killing ourselves

**

"Baa" goes the sheep.
The cattle are lowing but it's too low to hear
so we follow the herd
and we never stomp out our dissatisfaction
because we never stop to hear our hearts
and they all have the same beat now anyway

**

in this black and white world
all my cookie cutters fall to the floor
and i don't fit inside their lines
and yet i criticize myself for failure
all because i cannot measure up to such tall ideals

but who am i supposed to be
if i don't have someone to look up to?
who am i supposed to be
if i don't have someone to copy?
why is it so terrifying to set off alone?
why can't i look back?

---> Orpheus?

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Insanity Leads to Wisdom Sometimes

boomity boomy boom
crashity crash
don't walk away too fast
escape not the past
hakuna matata
is a phrase, not a sentence.
to forget who you were
leads to repeating your past
and by failing to learn
from the steps that you take
you increase exponentially
the mistake that you'll make.

Maybe Connected

you seem to think
i have something to say
but that's not how it works sometimes.
just let me speak nonsense
and i'll whisper those nothings
until you're a million miles away too

**

hold me close in your brutal arms --
they hold so much power and yet such restraint!
their range of intensity and purpose impresses me
at the same time that it scares me to death.

**

i can't get away
but don't think that i want to
i'm scared by how much that i need you
i'm afraid i can't handle
the thought that you might one day
want to walk out of my life

Blurbity Blurb

What's out there?
Who might I be
if I weren't me?

**

Take a leap...

**

What's out there:
A better version of myself?
Or could it the curse of temptation / a curse to tempt / a tempting curse
(pulling me from my intended/destined path)?

**

What is going on
in this big dark world?
Who here is in charge
in/of this cold, deep hole?
(What the fuck is happening?)

**

Chasing Hypotheticals

I'm winded --
chasing hypotheticals.
I'm winded --
they run so far so fast.

I'm wounded --
by our missed opportunities.
I'm wounded --
by dreams that might have been.

What will you be to me tomorrow?
(Today you mean nothing at all.)
But there is something inside me
that makes me question myself.
Who could I be with you tomorrow?
(Today I mean nothing at all.)

I wonder --
if grass is green where you are.
I wonder --
will my thumbs tend or bruise?

I torture --
myself creating fantasies.
I torture --
the world oscillating.

What will you be to me tomorrow?
(Today you mean nothing at all.)
But there is something inside me
that makes me question myself.
Who could I be with you tomorrow?
(Today I mean nothing at all.)

[bridge]

Today I mean nothing at all.

**

If you haven't already caved to my requests, make it up to me by LIKING the band that added a melody to these lyrics: Butcher the Baker.

More Blurbs

You stay silent,
so afraid to engage,
in fear that you'll go
getting carried away.

**

I'd rather have your hatred
than your apathy / apathetic ambivalence.
Your indifference is more painful
than your ire.

**

Give me anger,
just don't give me fake smiles / plaster a smile on your face (to appease me)

**

Your indifferent posture
hurts much more than your ire

**

Just going through the motions,
I'm an empty husk when you look at me.

**

I can't have it all,
but I want you to have a chance to

**

Not knowing if you're okay
makes it hard for me to be.

**

The indifference differential / different / indifferent ... [word play]

**

Crucial crushing credibility [word play]

**

Wonderful wind tremble fright things pretty in daylight go bump / sound scary / take harrowing looks into your soul at night

Tell Me Something

Tell me something --
something I shouldn't know.
Don't waste my time now --
I can't take that from you.

To act so proper
feels a bit like a sin.
How can you small-talk me
when you know where we've been?

I've tried and tried
to walk away
and maybe will someday.

So, what happened
to the intimacy?
We used to make love;
now you won't look at me!

Tell me what I did
so I can make it right.
If you deny me,
then I'm leaving tonight!

I've tried and tried
to walk away
and maybe will someday.

[bridge]

To act to proper
feels a bit like a sin.
How can you small talk me
when you know where we've been?

I've tried and tried
to walk away
and maybe will someday.

**

Another great tune from Butcher the Baker (LIKE us on Facebook).

Random Blurbs

Wonderous ponderosa
ponderous poindexters propagate prior to population

**

Stretch the truth,
hide the lies.
Censor your words
but shout with your eyes.

**

Whether explicit or just a suggestion,
the truth of expression is in its reflection.
For every action we happen to act,
there is a reaction that comes echoing back.

So Much Soul

You get up; I lie down.
You throw all of your fortune around,
but my fortune's not money.
No, my pockets are empty.
But my spirit is moving
and I got so much soul.

I lie down; you get up.
Put a little more drink in this cup
'cause I just can't be sober
until this night is over.
But my spirit is moving
and I got so much soul.

[long instrumental break]

I get up; kick you out.
There will be no more fooling around
'cause I wasted too much time.
Gon' get on with my own life
'cause my spirit is moving
and I got so much soul.

**

Another awesome tune from Butcher the Baker. If you haven't liked us yet on Facebook, do yourself a favor and get on that. :)

Feed Me Lies

Forget the truth;
just feed me lies,
'cause lies are all I have to hold onto
now that that truth is that you're gone.

Who went and told you
you could leave
when I was not done needing you?
I'm not strong enough alone!

Who will save me now from myself?
This tortured heart will pull me under.
I'm drowning in myself
and there's nowhere to hide.

How cruel this joke
that says that I need your help
to get over you!
Will I ever laugh again?

When I was young, you told me:
"Want it bad enough
and you can have anything!"
All I'm wanting now is you!

Who will save me now from myself?
This tortured heart will pull me under.
I'm drowning in myself
and there's nowhere to hide.

One day, maybe, I won't need you
standing beside me holding hands.
But that doesn't mean I won't want you still!
There's so much doubt in this head of mine
and my heart isn't quite ready to find
a way out of it on my own.

Who will save me now from myself?
From myself?

**

I wrote this song while struggling with my father's death last December. It was super cathartic to get these thoughts on paper, and even better to vent my emotions in song.

From this song came an entire songwriting partnership with my long-time friend, Shaun. Not to toot my own horn, but we've got some great stuff. LIKE us on Facebook and we'll reward you with more tracks. :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

on the surface

on the surface of the moon
my feet are as light as my cares tonight
but my world's just as empty
and the space just as dark
and the moon dust obscures
the best stars in the sky

so I look deep inside
and I search for deeper meaning
but I've been running on bingo fuel
since long before we landed.
the craters are only deep enough
to cradle my head as I lie down to cry
or fall down to die --
time will answer that riddle

rough angst

i'm feeling needy
but I shouldn't be
you've got a life
and a world
that's not supposed to revolve around me.

I keep willing my phone to ring,
aching for a mere vibration
to assure me you're still there.
it's clear you're not here,
but you shouldn't be anyway...

but my heart's crying out for you
even though it shouldn't weep
it's grateful for today
but can't help but ache for tomorrow

you don't scare me the way you used to
your words aren't a pathway to hell
but your eyes and the way you exhale every breath
give me a taste of brimstone and fire