Sunday, February 26, 2012

Hircine, TAKE II

one cannot simply follow exotic paths with a hircine eye seeing sex in every shadow. fertility's inherent to life -- even those deemed barren can create ideas that grow, split, reproduce -- and it's true that sex is never just a means to an end  -- even puritanical peoples cannot deny that fact to themselves, much as they declare for utilitarianism. but sex without depth is empty and meaning is required to make reruns desireable. sweat and breathlessness are well and good but if there's no one there sweating and panting with you that you can admit your vulnerability to, what's the point? if you settle for emptiness, you'll learn to accept it and acceptance of nothingness is a barren field.


do i surf the waves of desire
or am i destined to drown in its depths?
it seems my libido is all ages and none --
mature or naive?

am i bound to the grains of sand in the hourglass
or unfettered by its glass cage?

do i stand on the shoulders of giants
or follow footprints i can never hope to fill --
a child wearing adult's shoes,
aching for more years under her belt?
i must set out on my own, barefoot,
forging my own shoes as i go.
my steps my cross another's or walk along it for a time
but only while we talk to one another.
it seems impossible to teach the dead
but by making your students their students
and interpreting old words with new eyes...


hircine / HUR-sahyn\ adjective:
1. of, pertaining to, or resembling a goat.
2. Having a goatish odor.
3. Lustful; libidinous.

The old man's long list of misfortunes guaranteed all people encountering him would feel pity. While no exception to this rule, Judy's sympathy was blended with disgust as a result of the hircine suggestions he mumbled whenever she passed his alley of residence.

Saturday, February 25, 2012


please don't take offense during our silly tiffs
as we bandy light insults over Hostess cupcakes.
our love lives in the laughter,
(drawn from arteries?)
even if strangers perceive our arguments as abuses.
i'll never forget the shock in old friends' eyes
when our bickering offends their sensibilities.
we're rougher than others i suppose
with our games of "punchbug"
and our pet names that qualify as animal cruelty
sometimes the raw emotion in those four-letter taboos
is what i need to express the savage, primal quality of our connection
i feel attached to you in a way far-removed from this false system of etiquette
and if others can't accept the blood that beats within my veins
and the biting words of my affection that sometimes loose a stream of red
so be it.
i fuck you;
i love you
you fucking amazing man.


bandy / BAN-dee \ verb:
1. To pass from one to another or back and forth; give and take.
2. To throw or strike to and fro or from side to side, as a ball in tennis.
3. To circulate freely.

bandy / BAN-dee \ adjective:
(Of legs) having a bend or crook outward; bowed.

bandy / BAN-dee \ noun:
1. An early form of tennis.
2. Chiefly British. (Formerly) hockey or shinny.
3. Obsolete. A hockey or shinny stick.

The youngest and shortest child in the family, I often played the "monkey in teh middle" as my brothers bandied objects of personal import over my head.

Friday, February 24, 2012


opinions as fixed as the turns of the tide
i sometimes expect to be swallowed by quicksand
as i rarely stand on solid ground
there are a few fixed boulders within this quagmire
(you, for example)
but should i seek to blend aggregate into this soupy life
so i am more resistant to the pressures of feet treading on me?
or do i move my surfaces to another site with fewer, lighter footprints?
do i change myself and adapt to my environment
and the stream of abuses and forces that flog my being
or do i change habitats to better suit my species?
change is imminent -- but from within or without?


adamantine / ad-uh-MAN-teen\ adjective:
1. Utterly unyielding or firm in attitude or opinion.
2. Too hard to cut, break, or pierce.
3. Like a diamond in luster.

Jessica's personal style changed with the seasons; however, her view on shoe-belt-purse coordination was adamantine.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


bracketed as an editor's note --
never intended or foreseen by the original author
but simply added sometime thereafter
to better fit the aims of the regurgitator.
am i this blurb, commenting on and skewing
another's genius and only interfering with the original intent
or am i serving a more altruistic and admirable purpose --
to extend the reach of another's wisdom and share its impact
by demonstrating its applicability to a later generation?
parenthetical addendum perhaps
comprising a note readers may choose to overlook
but holding value that only a select few of motivated
(self-driven? over-achieving?)
individuals inspect.
am i confining myself to parentheses,
tacking the self-worth to assert my own value, quietly inviting others
to glance my way?
i often undervalue my talents,
discarding or setting aside my claims to more.
i need to demand respect and prove
without a doubt or a second of hesitation
that i am a powerful person in my own right
and even if my words may be bracketed
or embraced by parentheses on paper,
they are important enough to shout out from the page.
i am an authority
and i will scream with my words.
you will listen!
whether you truly hear as your ears bleed
is up to you.


plenum / PLEE-nuhm\ , noun:
1. A full assembly, as a joint legislative assembly.
2. The state or a space in which a gas, usually air, is contained at a pressure greater than atmospheric pressure.
3. A space, usually above a ceiling or below a floor, that can serve as a receiving chamber for air that has been heated or cooled to be distributed to inhabited areas.
4. The whole of space regarded as being filled with matter (opposed to vacuum).

The proposed plenum would more effectively and efficiently heat and cool Robin's multi-level dream home, but the upfront costs far exceeded her very-real available funds.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ad rem

an ad rem approach is nearly impossible
when your mind percolates more than starbucks.
simplistic's easier to digest, to follow
but lacks excitement, vivacity, doesn't it?
i find it hard to eliminate even the "ums" --
they testify to the inertia within my skull.
still, i ache for brevity sometimes
(my complexities often overwhelm even me).
even when my gears are turning at lower efficiency
i still fail to speak simply.
even when no words exit my lips,
do i truly stop speaking?
eyes and breath say so much
i cannot staunch the flow of ideas from this vessel.
can i ever be empty beneath a waterfall?
external drops of water upset my equilibrium
but internal chaos is productive sometimes.

Ad rem

ad rem / ad REM \ adverb:
Without digressing; in a straightforward manner.

ad rem / ad REM \ adjective:
Relevant; pertinent.

 Stu clenched his teeth in what he hoped passed for a grin as his blind date set off on yet another thinly-veiled, boasting tangent. His maximum bench press weight was as ad rem in their discussion as BDSM in a Sunday School class. Almost.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


do my thoughts bespeak my status as a writer
or just a human?
does hearing symbols' cymbals evidence my literary voice
or just my standard eardrums?
does my eloquent self-doubt imply confident expression
or just simplistic oblivion?
who am i, wearing two shoes?
fit they well, a pair of equals that carry me down the same path of physical space-time
while they tread with dissimilar rhythms --
one swaggers while the other skips.
cursed i am to stand so close to falling
or am i blessed in this imbalance?


bespeak \bih-SPEEK\ verb:
1. To show; indicate.
2. To ask for in advance.
3. To reserve beforehand; engage in advance; make arrangements for.
4. Literary. To speak to; address.
5. Obsolete. To foretell; forebode.

Jerry's three-piece suit bespoke his promotion long before the new reached the water cooler.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Breakfast on the Boat

i oscillate between praise and blame
do i vilipend you for scrambling my eggs
or do i thank you for upsetting my boat?
two sides of the same coin, i suppose
and little matter, considering
i've eaten the eggs and lost sight of your wake.


vilipend / vil-UH-pend \ verb
1. To regard or treat as of little value of account
2. To vilify, depreciate

Jess took every opportunity to vilipend Valentine's Day -- popping heart-shaped balloons, defacing greeting cards, dismantling expensive flower bouquets. Part of her ached to be caught, if just for the opportunity to vent her frustration with her pitiful love life.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The chordate's cordate confusion

i sometimes doubt my classification.
i feel so spineless 
despite every effort to stand my ground
vulnerable as an invertebrate slug
murdered with a little salt.
can i learn to stand up 
or will i forever lie down,
my body torn apart by spring winds?
perhaps i should stop clinging to what i want
and allow someone wiser to give me what i need.
me of little faith!
do i simply need to forget what i know
and let the truth wash over me?
i fear that i cling so hard to what i think i need
i leave no time to think about what i need.


cordate / KAWR-deyt \ adjective
1. Heart-shaped.
2. (Of leaves) heart-shaped, with the attachment at the notched end.

A dozen discarded pieces of red and pink paper encircled him and stood testament to his failure. Puffing in frustration, Tony attempted once more to cut a perfect cordate for the prettiest girl in class.

Monday, February 13, 2012


a piece of advice regarding fire
spreads as wildly as it ever did,
burning through lobes and librettos.
exoteric to the point of adage 

- and yet - 

just as common: conscious ignorance!
seeing eyes blinded,
hearing ears turned deaf -
a steep price to pay
to push desire over mountains sherpas circumvent!
a people whose icy surroundings
demand flames' creation 
to extend exposure to the elements
remain vigilant; 
untended fires hold danger even in snow.

- and yet -

even the vigilant turn to fire to fuel their engines,
stepping into the fiery ring,
inviting the cremation of living, breathing flesh, 
expecting the warmth of desire 
to desublimate into something tangible.
is it ignorant to step into the fire,
sentient of your body's fate?
years ago, men heaped honors upon this ilk -
we speak of them in hushed voices:
those whose lives were sacrificed to build legends.
who has the authority to determine desires' value
and determine those pursuits eligible for martyrdom?
deep down do i "know" my desires are unworthy,

- and yet - 

i recollect no lesson teaching me such.
what, who, when, why, where:
the source of this framework that guides me?
innate or injected?
how do i question the intangible?
is sublimation an impossible track to retrace?
questions birth and consume one another - 
a reproductive cycle my mind cannot follow or interpret.
such complexity within the simplicity - 
i fear to follow my desires down this path
of knowledge and forgetfulness
that ignorance shoves me down.

- and yet -


exoteric / ek-suh-TER-ik \ adjective
1. Suitable for or communicated to the general public.
2. Not belonging, limited, or pertaining to the inner or select circle, as of disciples or intimates.
3. Popular; simple; commonplace.
4. Pertaining to the outside; exterior; external.

Brian ignored the exoteric caveats against credit card dependence and handed his Visa to the cashier. Bankruptcy be damned, he would have that new flat-screen TV.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


auscultation / aw-skuhl-TEY-shuhn \ noun
The act of listening to sounds within the body as a method of diagnosis.

One of my many childhood aspirations (however fleeting) was to become a veterinarian. I remember visits to a friend's playroom and hours occupied examining teddy bear patients. Given the brevity of my youthful attention span, I would quickly grow tired of imagining heartbeats to auscultate. Our mothers, interrupting our diversions to deliver snacks, were actually more likely to find the plastic stethoscope pressed to our own chests as we spoke in silly voices and squealed in delight.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tunneling through Trash

i need to call the trash company today but i can't muster up a screed
even though they've left the recycling bin behind for four consecutive weeks
and their negligence is detrimental to my unspoken resolution to be greener
do i let too much go and accept too much by being laid-back and carefree?
should i foster darker feelings and trade my tranquility for spikes in blood pressure
so i can stop middling and accepting mediocrity and require more of myself?
am i thinking way too much about something so little?
i think it's time for me to call the trash company and get it over with.


screed \ skreed noun 
1. A long discourse or essay, especially a diatribe. 
2. An informal letter, account, or other piece of writing.
Building Trades.  A. A strip of plaster or wood applied to a surface to be plastered to serve as a guide for making a true surface. B. A wooden strip serving as a guide for making a true level surface on a concrete pavement or the like. C. A board or metal strip dragged across a freshly poured concrete slab to give it its proper level. 
4. British Dialect.  A fragment or shred, as of cloth. 
5. Scot.  A. A tear or rip, especially in cloth. B. A drinking bout.

screed \ skreed verb 
1. Scot.  To tear, rip, or shred, as cloth.

Stan's screed on responsibility quickly made his young daughter regret her neglect of Patrick the goldfish. It would be another fifteen years before she tended another aquarium -- and that at the request of her own son.  

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


i want to be witty
i want to be fun
i seek pettiness and shallow pools.
at the same time...
i ache for depth,meaning,substance.
how is that my yin wants the now, the fleeting, the temporal
and my yang needs something less tangible, less primal
or is it really primal impulses that seek to override the now-now-now of modern minds
i confuse myself:
is it my animal nature that craves instant satisfaction
or my animal instincts that drive me to demand more ...
meaning, affection, reciprocity, stability
are my piacular acts a means to an end
or a means to a beginning?
where do i want the road to lead?
who walks alongside me?


could it be that then influenced the now and caused it to be
could it be that my missteps only led me to you
could it be that my penance is less painful than i let on
could it be that water feeds the fire and flames burn the rain
could it be that my opposition is a birthing ground
could it be plans i thought i'd upset were asking for it all along
could it be that my confusion is an impetus for action
could it be that all these excuses are simply motivation driving me forward
could it be that the taboo is merely something i cannot admit to needing
could it be that all these rules are begging to be broken
could it be that all this tangential motion is simple mathematics
could it be that my simplistic queries are too difficult to solve
could it be that i'm confused by the unknowable
could it be that i'm sure of the uncertain
could it be that i am who i am
could it be that no one knows


piacularpahy-AK-yuh-ler \   adjective 
1. Expiatory; atoning; reparatory.
2. Requiring expiation; sinful or wicked

After missing over a week of words, I feel the most appropriate form of penance is to compose a plethora of piacular poems. Read on, faithful follower.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


at work i've quadrupled the tenure of many of my peers
and my experience shows
but outside the four walls of my workplace
i am naive as a mute child.
i try to learn by observing
but sometimes i find myself lacking in action
i am happy, it's true
and i've seen some of the world that lies beyond my small sphere
but i know there's more
and i feel like i need to do more
to know more.
perhaps i should start by standing back from this desk
and walking somewhere, anywhere, for a few hours.
but then i'll just be lost in the big world
and my laundry will still be unfolded
and my dishes will still be unwashed
and i will still have questions.
is it truly valid to get your answers second-hand?
sometimes i wonder at how much we take as truth
without having any real evidence other than
someone's assumed authority on the topic.
but is there truly any way to know the world on your own terms
without using with someone else's lexicon in its creation?
"you must stand for something
or you'll fall for anything"
but what if i'm standing on the wrong something
and the "anything" alternative is what i should be centered on?
does duty block my path to truth?
these accepted roles we live in --
do they forbid our search for something more?
i cannot keep my nose out of a book
but i feel like these pages are confining
and that no matter how many words
and no matter how many writers
i will always be incomplete
until i find my own voice
but i fear this voice is as elusive as


doyenne \ doi-EN noun 
A woman who is the senior member of a group, class, or profession.

Given the quick turnover in retail, I feel eight years tenure sufficient to give myself doyenne status.