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Showing posts from 2006

Fireproof

Torn between the right and the desirable, I ache to turn towards to fire but My infinidecimal wisdom tells me to back away. I'm not ready.  My heart is weak, my brain washed Into believing what I need is among the ashes. But ashes fly away on the wind, carried away To other lands, into other hands not my own. Deep inside my aching heart, the knowledge resides: Until I'm strong enough to stand alone, I cannot find a crutch to help me stand. But once I have this crutch, I am fireproof and can embrace the flames.

Don't

Don't pity me.  Don't worry for my mental well-being. I've handled skeletons I'd rather not discuss. I've soared so high and crawled so low. I am strong, buoyant, resilient. Don't pity me. Support me - don't smother me - I am capable of great things.

Am I?

Am I bitter?  Very well could be? Am I depressed?  Occasionally? Am I lonely?  Only in crowds? Am I lost? Just confused? It's called growth...the germination of the seed of life, shocked to feel the moist earth (is this real?).  Give me sun, water...I will grow to great heights when I break through the soil

Star dance

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat.  Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat.  Percussive fingernails tapping a rhythm discordant with the cacophany within her head.  She's too big to make herself feel so small.  She aches to take flight and soar through the moonlit sky, dancing with the stars on her way to her haven.  She knows, with every bone in her body, that this is just a bump in the path...but the bump reminds her of her frail frame and its fragility.  Life used to be SO EASY...simple addition led to simple algebra...to simple calculus...to an IMPOSSIBLE life.  Why is she so melodramatic - for the sake of the art?  Pain makes for good stories - afternoon talk shows have taught her that much.  Is she unhappy?  No, never that.  More uncomfortable than anything, she tells herself...so many un-'s.  Uncomfortable, unsure, uneasy...but unafraid.  She will dance with the stars from solid ground tonight.

Hartman Humor

Mr. Hartman is a dork. Hes uglier than the ugliest stork. Hes rusty and twisted like a fork.   Mr. Hartman is a dork. Mr. Hartman is a nerd. Its really not surprising; its really not absurd. He hears and sees things no ones seen or heard. Mr. Hartman is a nerd. Mr. Hartman is so dumb. He thinks hes cool and number one. He actually believes his SRP is fun. Mr. Hartman is so dumb.

Interlude

Stumbling through life, naïve and crude, I manage to grasp an interlude From personal simplicity. Here now I am, my mind now free. Open door now to my cage, Which never shall gain be the stage For my span.   Shift I now another gear; My souls immobilized by fear. Cant stay here or grab my case Of innocence once commonplace But now so square.   This World of Sphere Leaveth no room to store such here. Without an aid or worldly lesson, I seek new personal possession Of the mind.   Captivate the brain (Imperative if you remain) Within this realm).   Reality Prompts horror.   Paradoxically, Loud minds produce quiet and calm From leg to leg, arm to arm.

Bills

So many words being thrown in my head! They're waking confusion, but sanity's dead. My mind is in chaos with each helping hand. (Compassionate aims bring misfortune unplanned.) They do not mean harm; they're not senseless brutes But these seemingly innocent ones stole my roots. My principles fall with the soil time's tilled. Speech may be free, but for hearing I'm billed.

Riddle

Traverse my Web, choose a man To do your job, fit your need. All laid out, in tidy files; All await your command. Caution choose him carefully: Note his kin, his kind, his king, His accent heard, see his sense; Good in one place, not the rest. Chart his change, your final foot Falls at my command, it does. I hold his history in my hand, As a lingual lord of background checks. Answer: Dictionary

Introspection 1

My life is a collection of opening and closing lines. My mind is a novelist who seems to have left out the body of its work.   As my body picks up and quickly abandons projects and hopes and dreams, so does my mind.   I turn North, South, East, Westwithin each object my eyes land upon is a story I see it, I feel it.   I have just to pick a public medium and share my private thoughts.   And finish them. My internal artist pounds on its cranial cageRelease me! It cries.   Youve trapped me inside here with so many others and Im running out of air! Indeed, that is the ideaIve been told Im especially talented a modern-day Renaissance Woman, if you will.   And I exercise those talents? Sparingly.   Rather than showcase my talents by using them, I imprison them in my mind, where they become a pile of lost potential.   And I have the audacity to boast of my amazing potential, creating another more conspicuous pile of bullshit ! Yes, bullshit.   Potential is nothing

Introspection 2

[The hardest thing about growing up is] the feeling I get in my stomach, wondering if Im going to screw up everything for myself.   I wonder if everything will work out, I wonder if I can live on my own later.   I worry about everythingIm paranoid.   But its the hardest thing.   That and saying goodbye to all the things you knew before whether it be a friend, family member, memory, or just your attitude.   Yeah, that really bites: losing the attitude of a child where everything is so amazing and youre so happythen all of the sudden, youre [pissed off] all the time and worried about whats going to happen and then you discover what can only be called phantom worries.   A plague of the teenage years, full of worries like Am I self-centered?   Inadequate?   Unprepared?   Lazy?    Useless?   Psychotic?   And they never seem to stop.   There is no escape.

Silly quotes

[One through eight are from ONLINE ROLEPLAY SESSIONS with some friends.  Nine is a joke between Lindsay - a long-lost friend - and I.] 1) " I'm not trying to get in your pants; my phone is ringing." 2) " Congratulations.   Not only are you a dork, but you're also a spaz." 3) " Sometimes being shallow is a bad thing.  Sometimes, you just want to go DEEP " 4) " Oh, so you amazingly remember where the hottub is.   Interesting...I dont imagine you could amazingly recall where you keep the condoms?" 5) " If she doesnt think you're the asshole of the world, can I think so?" 6)        ~   Oh man.         ~   Oh man?   Yes, I am a man. 7) " Im going to have to ask you to stay there or leave your calculator behind before returning to the group." 8)        ~     Sometimes I feel like I'm such a bore to you.            ~    Sometimes you are.    9) " You've gotta get chummy before you ge
How do you know when it's true love? How do you know you're meant to be? How do you know it was planned above? How do I know he was meant for me? Is it in the way he speaks my name? Or is it the way he plays the game? Is there a real test for him to take To choose the step that I'm to make? How do you know they're the missing piece? How do you know it's soon-to-be? How do you know together you'll find peace? How do I know she was meant for me? Is it in the way she combs her hair? Or is it the way she fills the air? Is there a sure way for me to learn If she is the cure for my heart's burn? How will we know if "we" even exists? How will we know it's destiny? How will we know if this is true love's kiss? How will we know we were meant to be? Is it the passion that we breed? Or is it the angst our feelings freed? Is there a true path to certainty? Or does our real fate lie in our need?

I Feel

i feel the water, over my head i feel the falling, out of my bed i feel the pain, most always do when i can't be close to you i feel the knives, stabbing into me i feel the evil only i see i feel the pain, most always do when i can't be close to you i feel it all, this feeling is sick i feel it all, hope the end comes quick i feel it when you're not by my side with you by me this feeling will die i feel the teeth, cutting into me i feel the hurt of a stinging bee i feel the pain, most always do when i can't be close to you i feel the gun and the bullet hit i fel that it's not all i'll get i feel the pain, most always do when i can't be close to you i feel it all, this feeling is sick i feel it all, hope the end comes quick i feel it when you're not by my side with you by me this feeling will die

Nothing Is Complete

I'm standing in the midst Of what future lies ahead. My feet seem stuck to the ground 'Cause I can't forget what you said. I struggle to look through the fog - To see what good may come. Yet clouds will never leave the sky Until we resume life as one. Nothing is complete Without you right here by my side. An impossible feat: To live without you to guide The way I react to things around me, The ways I deal with my pain, The things I do to say I love you And show you alone life can't be the same. Silence seems to be the Only noise around But I must not be listening, For your ears are covered by another sound. The scent of you surrounds me. Your aroma swells so strong. You seem so close but aren't - What did I ever do wrong? Nothing is complete Without you right here by my side. An impossible feat: To live without you to guide The way I react to things around me, The ways I deal with my pain, The t

The One I Trust

You say you love me - No you don't. You say I need you - Oh, I won't. You say all these things And you tell all these lies That's when I look to the skies. I get down on my knees And I ask the Lord, please, To come and set me free. He grabs hold of my chains and they bust. He helps me up, brushing off the dust. He's the One I trust. You say it's always been like this: The exact same as our first kiss. If you want me to believe In what you say, You'll have to learn from Him someday. I get down on my knees And I ask the Lord, please, To come and set me free. He grabs hold of my chains and they bust. He helps me up, brushing off the dust. He's the One I trust. You say without me you can't live. (Then why don't you know how to give?) You say I'm important - You don't talk to me - Prove your love and make a plea. I get down on my knees And I ask the Lord, please, To come and

Rain Down on Me

You and I had been together For the longest time. We spent so much time together, I thought we were two-of-a-kind. Then it all changed: It all began to rain Down on me. I finally came to realize You were meant to make me cry. Now I see. When you had another girl And we met once more, I said our end didn't mean the world. (I broke down behind my bedroom door.) Then it all changed: It all began to rain Down on me. I finally came to realize You were meant to make me cry. Now I see. When I'd finally gotten through The heartbreak you'd given me, Who showed up on my steps - you! I told you we won't ever be. Then it all changed: It all began to rain Down on you. You finally came to realize I were meant to make me cry. Now you see. Then it all changed: It all began to rain Down on me. I finally came to realize You were meant to make me cry. Now I see.

My Angel

I didn't look to the sky when my angel came to me. I didn't pray to God for this angel to come visit me. I didn't even expect this angel would come to be the one I'll be with for eternity. This angel was a mystery - I never would expect that this angel here could make such an effect on my life (which it changed now and forever). I'm so glad my angel and I will always be together. I didn't hear the joyous singing in my ear. I didn't feel the love make my fear disappear. I didn't even know that my angel standing here was the one I'll be with till the end of my years. This angel was a mystery - I never would expect that this angel here could make such an effect on my life (which it changed now and forever). I'm so glad my angel and I will always be together. I didn't smell the fragrance of one red rose. I didn't feel the light kiss on my nose. i didn't, at that moment, even know It's wit

Sometimes I Give In

Sometimes I give into temptation. Why do I do what I shouldn't do? Sometimes it all seems too impossible. What keeps life from falling through? Sometimes I don't give and I just take. Why must I be such a greedy soul? Sometimes I feel like I'm so unworthy. Should I be allowed to walk on this world? There's many wonders that lie untold, Yet these are the ones that interest me. You may not get the picture of it, but In my life I find what all you cannot see. Sometimes I give into people's pressure. Why do I lack the power to say no? Sometimes I feel like I've made no progress. Why don't I have anything to show? Sometimes I carry a blanket of loneliness. Why do I always spend time all alone? Sometimes I feel like I'm always at fault. Why is it that I inflict this pain on my own? There's many wonders that lie untold, Yet these are the ones that interest me. You may not get the picture of it, but In

Not one mirror broken

Not one mirror broken; Not one task undone. Not one lie told today; Nor pain been inflicted. The feelings of regret, selfishness, woe, Fill up my heart until it can hold no more. It all seems to happen no matter the circumstances. All there is left to do is believe. Yet the consequences still lie here, Floating in the air. The problems begin once more, Although it seems not right. The feelings of regret, selfishness, woe, Fill up my heart until it can hold no more. It all seems to happen no matter the circumstances. All there is left to do is believe. Believe there's still hope that a day will come soon - A day when all is well and nice and good, A day when nothing in life seems to fall apart. That is that day I look to for strength.

For Megan

If you're like most people in the world ... you're walking around the world, happily ignorant of the existence of a man we like to call Eric Hartman.  Well, allow me to shatter your happiness and introduce this character and illustrate the humor that exists in this man.  Enjoy the ride... Forgive the lack of illustration, as I just spent an entire hour drawing up some cartoons only to find out the scanner won't work.  Wonderful.  It looks like one of YOU lucky individuals will get an original!  But anyway...here's the dialogue for the long-lost strips conceived in 8th grade. ******************************************************** ERIC: Come on; you know you wanna step under the mistletoe!           {mistletoe in place of loincloth} ERIC: {poking airholes into a large cardboard box} O kay, theres the last airhole gosh, shell just love this she LOVES surprises! {climbs inside box; sent through the mail in this box labeled "To My Dingbat Wife"

Ridiculous Ideas for Christmas Cards (not recommended)

Yeah, so I used to go to all the trouble of MAKING handmade cards for all of my friends and family around the holidays and birthdays.  It gave me a chance to exercise my crafty, artsy side ... and express crazy ideas that were building up in my head.  God knows high school - 3/4's at least - were full of great memories ... so I choose to reminisce.  Join me if you so choose.  Just step inside my tent (it's very roomy) ... ******************************************************** FRONT) Have you ever stopped to realize the irony of a washing machine?   You put clothes in it and they come out clean.   Yet, if you were to scribble all over the washing machine with a red crayon, it couldnt couldnt wash itself . INSIDE) Think about that when the boredom of Christmas break sets in. ******************************************************** FRONT) Im not going to use this Christmas card as an opportunity to brag about how much smarter than you I amor how much more inter