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Showing posts from 2012

à cheval

à cheval / ? \ adjective 'on horseback'; astride, straddling  His entrance à cheval suggested a certain familiarity with romance novels. Had he also donned a blonde wig and clutched a tub of butter-alternative, his beloved would have likely fled his overzealousness; but today love drew her forward. Twelve suns would rise and fall before the mounted hopeless romantic would learn that his equine companion had, in that moment, usurped the heart of the only woman he would ever love.

à corps perdu

à corps perdu / ? \ adjective 'with lost body'; impetuously; in desperation  Oblivious to the slate tearing into her bare feet with each step, she sought him à corps perdu along the entirety of the riverbank. Nearly an hour had passed since Chad jumped from the ragged cliff hundreds of feet above the rocky shore. His fragile body's pounding against the rocks during his descent had broken her spirit in the same way that she was sure it had broken his bones. The echoes of silence were her only companions, and she clung to them to avoid a reality she could not face.

à fond **date**

à fond / a FAWN \ noun  'to the bottom'; thoroughly  Peering over the rim of the toilet bowl, the child clapped her hands and giggled as her mother's keys sank à fond. (Her mother, running late for work, would soon be à fond pissed. Ha.)

Zatetic

zetetic / proceeding by inquiry; investigating \ adjective   Her zetetic gaze inspired shallow breaths and a deep fear. Did he answer her question with the truth or resort to storks as the explanation for his daughter's existence?

Zeigarnik

zeigarnik / ? \  noun tendency to remember an uncompleted rather than a completed task  George's inadequacies were largely imagined: he had graduated at the top of his class and was rapidly climbing the corporate ladder. Still, his zeigarnik accosted him at least once a day--transporting him back to a time years earlier when his nervous fingers had marred his first piano performance. While his parents had long forgotten the error--if they had even noticed it initially, George would never forgive himself for disrespecting Bach.

Zenana

zenana / zuh-NAH-nah \ noun 1. the part of the house in which the women and girls of a family are secluded. 2. its occupants collectively. On those days the men insisted on planting themselves in front of the television and consuming immeasurable amounts of food from dishes they had no intention of cleaning, she dreamed of life in a zenana where testosterone only pervaded the premises briefly and for good reason. The men might have agreed with such an idea, had she revealed her thoughts to them.

Rerun

is this the same as before? the same torrential waterfall of heat and emotions? nothing stopped me before and i hopped on that horse and rode into a sunset that quickly rose to high noon. i walked away from that duel back then, unconcerned about the outcome but could it be that the bullet hit me and i've been bleeding ever since and my subconscious maneuvering to staunch the flow has led me down the same path? i don't want another shootout...

pretty rags

I've been wanting to try some Dada poetry, but wasn't ready to completely give away control on this one. I wrote down words, cut up the pieces of paper and drew them out one at a time...but couldn't let go of the reins so ended up throwing scraps back into the pile when the words didn't please me. Maybe one day I'll do a true Dada poem, but in the meantime check out my first baby step toward the goal. (And yes, I realize I have more fonts than I need. Maybe a weekly Dada-esque piece will justify having downloaded all those typography packs...)

ramose

ramose / REY-mohs \ adjective Having many branches; b ranching.   The Hansen family tree was difficult to trace not for its ramose structure but for the vines clinging to its limbs. It was startling how many "aunts" and "uncles" Janet had accumulated over the years!

where am i

unfulfilled tired of being empty watching the tank drain and doing nothing to refill it i can't complain when i do nothing but complain i cannot move if i do not move my feet i can only blame the external things for so long before their forces crush my frame where am i in this undefined mush

Ostrich

Too afraid to stand and fight; Too much pride to fly away. Cowardice: immobilize Egos lacking skill to play! Games of conflict can’t be played By those afraid to deal a hand. Flightless birds avoid their call Ostriching heads in the sand.  Thanks, Trifecta for the prompt, which requested an animal name be used as a verb. I figured I might as well ignore the dictionary and make my own...flightless birds have always intrigued me, anyhow.

imperfection

if you say you're gonna follow the dashed line on the highway of life and keep straight, never stumbling or straying from the route for a second, your life will be a failure. life isn't about doing everything right, not making a single mistake. it's about making mistakes then getting up and brushing yourself off after you stumble or fall. and besides, in your imperfect moments, memorable things happen -- who would wanna miss those?

hearing voices

i hear you calling my name your voice reaches through the darkness but somehow it isn't the same because we're not together anymore. am i just hearing these things inside of my head? is my imagination my inspiration to sing or is it something you actually said?

prophecy from my youth

she's been my best friend forever. so when they told me she would die, i hadn't though it'd happen -- never! -- it wasn't enough to stay and cry. so i ran away from it all. i ran away with no call. i ran, left my problems behind. but what will i do when there's more i find? i found you, i love you so much. maybe your feelings weren't the same. before i even received your touch, you dropped me as fast as i came. so i ran away from it all. i ran away with no call. i ran, left my problems behind. but what will i do when there's more i find? mom called today - oh, does she dare! she talked, while i began to cry. "i'm sorry, mom. i know you care," i knew what was right as i said "bye." so i ran back to it all. i ran back after the call. i ran to the place i came from. and now i know i'll never be as dumb.

why

why does my body hold you when my mind named you an obstacle before your hurdle was laid in my path? i know you're unnecessary -- an expansion pack I don't need -- yet you still linger in my cells (like a dormant pathogen) after all this time.  it's been a year almost and your mystique still enchants me and i hope without Hope's blessing that my essence sleeps in your subconscious too. awakening when you least expect it and impeding your momentum when forward is the only option. we hold each other stagnant; by clinging to the hypothetical we distance ourselves from the plausible. our coloring sheets were never intended to be more than black-and-white. why do i cling to the possibility of nothingness that "us" entails? i'm addicted to you though i've never partaken.

my tired mind cannot compose a phrase more eloquent than prose

Only half of my brain is ready to succumb to sleep. There’s more to complete before I close my eyes! This is all very strange because I’m on vacation – seems I need a vacation from my vacation. I’ve composed a list of interesting panels for an upcoming geek convention. I’ve a list of books to read. Also a list of people to visit, a list of places to see, a list of stores to visit, a list of songs to practice on my parents’ out-of-tune piano, a list of thank-you notes to write…and only a finite amount of time. (Zzz.) Thanks to Velvet Verbosity , in spite of her decision to close the link hops I am just now getting around to posting. Sigh.

turtle of today

busy busy, always busy running from point A to C. what's an oreo without the creme? or bookends on an empty shelf? hyperopic eyes focus on the horizon, never dropping to see the dashes on the road. reminiscing's fun but regret's widespread when we will life to take on lunar gravity demanding it leap when it should crawl. why can’t we be content with today? must we always live one step ahead? there's value in the quotidian, truth in monotony. unembellished breaths propel us forward in ways hyperventilation never could. put tomorrow’s rabbit out of your head, turtle of today. ** Thanks, Velvet Verbosity .

Revolution 179

when nature holds her breath the skins upon the mast fall flaccid, their tapestries' richness untold - words withheld to punish her unshared whispers. Nothing given, nothing shared. homicidal waves shore simple rafts unprepared to leave an ordered existence, unprepared to float away as driftwood. how can one hold onto herself without trunks beside to bestow meaning? Mutability of form veils similitude of locomotion. you left your oars in a boathouse on the mainland; mine were lost along the way along with my rebellious spirit. scarlet flames fizzled as they fell overboard, fiery fingers never fated to reach the Red blaze. My revolution became intangible at 179 degrees. i smuggled a glowing ember onto an imagined isle. i cannot bring myself to extinguish its life. it promises a future laden with violence and heartache, whose progression i should halt with vigor but must i discard the scraps of memory? Cookie-cutter philosophy leaves the territory outsi

matemáticas

i asked you once to cook for me you probably don't remember such a minor conversation but i do. and you did. let's put significance where it doesn't belong like a cheesy romance and pretend it means something when it's just sustenance but isn't hope the same thing? and isn't faith just confidence that things will be ok? and they are. we're not an entity; we'd never have added up right. besides, i've already used my plus-sign. (and multiplication is imminent) perhaps the division was necessary for a while because now the shavings of graphite have blown away, but i can't handle subtraction with you.

Drink now of the deceased!

some say that death mars life but life surely reciprocates this enmity. as we wink into existence we fault death for pain and misery, blinding ourselves to the truth. surely such large concepts are common to matter and antimatter alike! temporality does not observe the states of being that we establish to bestow meaning to our days. time passes: we live; we die. we fabricate checkpoints to interrupt the stretch of personal existence -- birth to maturity to matrimony to birth -- and with it another stretch of years segmented into arbitrary units of time. (astronauts' observations confirm the calendar's dependence on orbits, but they're of little import to those of us relegated to lives on these hunks of orbiting rock.) but death is mankind's only landmark: eras and dynasties divided with scarlet. the hourglass runneth over with blood! yesterday's carafe has been refilled drink now of the deceased. there is

yes

temptation you are even if you have no desire to be desired so you are the same. your presence plagues me at the same time that your absence pains me. how can i stop that with no true origin? you grew hydroponically despite your lack of traditional nurturing here you are. do you know where here is? i didn't designate a plot for your crop but you're here all the same, like a seed whose germination point lies far from its parent stem. what do i do now? you've infiltrated my compound without any intent to do so. you've sowed discontent, although i've never spread your seed. if you're not involved if you're not to blame how can you be involved how can i make YOU part of the equation that only involves me + me. my imagination takes me down many roads and this time i tread yours without your permission. can i make myself turn away or revert to the true course or retrace my steps? you are not part of this. i am only attempting to en

ventose

i am a ventose ventriloquist at times -- i blow wind through others' tracheas and move their mouths like muppets. my imagination served me well in childhood but these days it's just as likely to betray me. obviously there are other gears in motion though i'm not sure if mental illness or hormonal disturbance is to blame. i suppose the pills for one cause the other so who's to say which side of the bridge i began on. there are so many planks missing between a photographer from a higher altitude might develop an advertisment for a dentist (the "before" picture, of course) . who's to say how i got here but i'm here and i've got to find another path to sanity because neither side of this bridge lands there.

ventose

ventose / VEN-tohs \  adjective; Given to empty talk; windy.   The young representative fought the urge to roll her eyes as the most senior member of the assembly slowly rose to his arthritic feet. While he might have something worthwhile to say on the topic, the ventose elder would inevitably say it at least five times during his speech.

"..."

The humming from the microphone echoed and Kristen's shaky legs threatened to give out on her. How was it possible that she could spell twenty-letter diseases and speed through the lexicon of French cuisine yet flub a simple "i before e except after c"? Sweat had already begun to bead up on her forehead when the grating buzzer sounded to signal her failure. "I'm sorry; that's incorrect." The facilitator stated simply. "You may return to your seat." Eyes focused on her feet, Kristen made her way back to her folding chair. Part of her was shocked by the cold of the grey metal seat, but it was buried so far beneath her disappointment that she her body didn't react to the stimulus. How upset her would parents be to rece-ive a loser from the bus stop that afternoon! She struggled to raise her eyes to the imminent spelling champion as he approached the microphone. As he began to spell the word that was to become her terrible legacy at Shady

phatic

phatic / FAT-ik \  adjective; Denoting speech used to create an atmosphere of goodwill.   His supervisor's phatic speech could not have been more out-of-place; George was moments away from being laid off and no words could make this into a good situation.

" ... "

She studied her face in the mirror in lieu of more expensive amusements. Why spend half of her paycheck at the movie theater when she could admire her own enviable bone structure for free? Sure, a night at home wouldn’t get her any closer to the pedestal of celebrity, but at her pedestal sink, she could unabashedly pluck stray hairs from her face! She ran her fingertips over the curve of her jaw and lamented her inability to capture its beauty on canvas. Shrugging off what could not be remedied, she loosened the cap of her mascara and began to hum. She stopped the applicator wand midway to her lash pondering the lyrics beneath the tune – What is the hipbone connected to?

" ... "

Jane clutched her leg and bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain. Her friend, Jessie, was panicked enough without adding four-letter words to the mix. It had been stupid of them to think that they could skip third period without consequence. They had spent weeks planning this day, but deep down Jane knew that they couldn't get away with it. They'd made extensive plans to ensure Jessie's sister's rusty sedan was available for their escapade and its owner far away on a field trip to the city. They'd brought changes of clothes (even their swimsuits, just in case Mother Nature decided to gift them with a preview of summer by the lake). They'd packed enough food to feed half the football team (because who could say for sure which of three sandwiches they'd be craving at the end of their long day). But they hadn't anticipated any broken bone s. Nor had they fully considered the double-edged sword of an escape from civilization -- their phones were merely

kinetic

moving moving always moving my mind more than my limbs my limbs more than my mind can i truly move both simultaneously? i forget what i am to remember when i move my mind elsewhere i stumble when i am to dance when i mistake one foot for another. i can only prepare for missteps because they are inevitable and i cannot anticipate everything or even the smallest fraction of things. my admission of flaws is flawless and i do not omit my tendency to omit the important nonsense in my life. can i exhale everything i inhale or will i always hold back a bit?

Circumscribe

i try to cripple your strength by talking circles around you talking with my pen as my vocal cords cannot compete with the muscles in my fingers and those in my mind. despite my strength of mind and digits i cannot confine you to a space. most days i feel that this intangible fence has fooled me into ignoring you just long enough for you to escape through the barbs and just long enough for me to stop caring so much. but other days, when noise is insufficient to shut out the incessant emptiness i hear you again. i know it's not truly you -- just my imagined you -- even so, i am transported to a place where you are central and i cannot stop wondering who you really are and why you had to leave.

spruik

i have the wind to spruik but do my words hold meaning? i often become lost in my own embellishments, never coming to the X on the map. do i live tangentially, never fated to collide with my point? i float in a universe of stars eluding their gravitational pulls. it's a peaceful life but what good does it serve? an astronaut's birthplace becomes irrelevant when home is light years away. do i need to reconnect with myself to disconnect from myself? or would a step backwards lead to a pit? surely i cannot stand still or if i do i will green as a sloth. i like green but not that kind.

spruik

spruik / sprook \  , verb; To make or give a speech, especially extensively; spiel In my adolescence, I rolled my eyes during my father's lectures. These days, we exchange minimal words -- what I wouldn't give to be beside him as he spruiks. I can't say I ever truly knew my father, but I haven't had the opportunity to try and decode his cipher for years.

19 june 2006

he loved me... and i could never make myself feel anything beyond platonic. once i cleared the cobwebs of an (adolescent?) (naive?) idealistic happy-ever-after i could see that he was not my prince charming it was i who charmed him into thinking that he could play that role and it was i who opposed his valiant quest and it was i who played the villain. now that i've ended things i feel like i'm inadequate (and fear that i'll feel the same forever) because i had this man and instead of doing the honorable thing and talking things out with him and maybe working to fix things i ran into the arms of another man but i know deep down that without this encounter, i'd never have worked up the resolve to go through with it. i learned passion, i learned...so much about myself already and i think i've been changing everyday even though i tried to hide it for years i think the butterfly i thought i was becoming a few years ago was flying on borro

18 june 2006

some days i feel insecure self-conscious flawed wrong somehow. other days i get out of bed and feel like i can do anything (nothing can break my stride!) ...unless i break that stride myself -- with self criticism self-doubt by denying that i am good enough strong enough enough . i am truly and always... an artist a writer a musician a dreamer... a hard-worker a person of integrity (though -- like anyone -- i've had my stumbles along the way) but i let others determine my path all too often. i let others' uninformed words affect my outlook on the world (and subsequent actions). but time and again, i reach a point where i decide to break off... despite my failure to plan ahead my lack of whistling ability my stage fright (when singing, mind you) my confusion... i am optimistic friendly generous honest loving understanding and give of myself deeply (oftentimes, too much ... too soon...) i am working on changing my tendency to beco

grouse

do i grouse about work because i hate it? because i hate my coworkers? because i hate my customers? because i hate stagnation. because i hate not living up to my potential by accepting mediocrity. i realize that most people are average and to be a part of this crowd is no shame, but i -- like the ginger mermaid -- want more for myself. curiosity will not kill me as it did the poor feline. on the contrary, it keeps me alive. keeps electricity surging through my nerves. sameness and stability, while good in ways, are not satisfying. i need to dare to risk failure in order to truly succeed. i must risk crashing to the ground if i wish to soar.

grouse

grouse / grous \ verb : To grumble; complain. grouse / grous \ noun : A complaint. Stuck in rush-hour traffic with nothing on the airwaves but frustratingly perky talk radio hosts, Frank only alternative to shifting into Grand-Theft-Auto- mode was to grouse about his predicament.

Pyknic

i fear my inactivity will result in a pyknic future self a self who would rather indulge in calories and sedentary life does this path begin with mental atrophy? after graduation, the grey matter is rarely challenged we get into "habits" of doing things and employment is never varied enough to prevent atrophy of the body and mind and once the limbs are devoid of muscle and the mind free of stimulation it all becomes automatic and we eat whatever is placed before us i fear my adulthood is that of a robot whose abilities are stripped of meaning because change has no place in a rigid box no longer a maze, this life of mine

Pyknic

pyknic / PIK-nik \  adjective : Having a rounded build or body structure.   pyknic / PIK-nik \  noun : A person of the pyknic type. Much as she tried, Sarah couldn't watch the pyknic man walk by without an oscillating tuba tune playing in her head.

Esculent

esculent -- carrots, celery, tomatoes... but wait, those don't fit the category! i understand the seeds define the classification but i still link tomatoes to the salads they decorate more than to the fruits they pass in the street. am i strange that i see divisions between objects? they're both edible -- shouldn't they be equivalent? but they're not. two things may be interchangeable but they're not identical. just because both fill the same blank doesn't mean they fill it the same way. different clothes for a different man.

Esculent

esculent / ES-kyuh-luhnt \  noun: Something edible, especially a vegetable.   esculent / ES-kyuh-luhnt \ adjective : Suitable for use as food; edible.   Carol's taste in men -- heretofore limited to muscle-bound athletes -- experienced a culinary upset when a vegan Adonis moved into the neighborhood. He was truly esculent!

furcate

furcate / FUR-keyt \ verb : To form a fork; branch. furcate / FUR-keyt \ adjective : Forked; branching. Observing her brothers from her bedroom window, Sam lamented the superfluous furcations of her family tree. She was confident that a forthcoming nut shot video shoot would correct this oversight, effectively removing her siblings from the gene pool.

appertain

no chains hold me here but i appertain to you all the same. by signing our names side-by-side, we've both agreed to share ourselves with one another. you are my keeper and i, as yours, plan to push you toward your dreams (but not too hard) and pull when i need you close (but not so often you 're forever exiled from solitude). a see-saw, giving and taking through ups and downs, i hope to share the work and the play for all time.

appertain

appertain / ap-er-TEYN\ verb : To belong as a part, right, possession or attribute. Kristie stepped onto the school bus and excitedly took a seat in the back row. She had waited a long time to claim the benefits appertaining to a sixth grader and was now ready to mount her throne.

profluent

life is not a babbling brook or profluent river reaching for the sea; it is more a waterfall, splashing upon rocks and wasting of itself to drop to lower heights. it is a rapid, violently attacking any who dare cross its path. it's true: there are short spans of tranquil waves where the only ripples are made by waterbugs on the surface but nothing is so mutable as the current of existence.

Profluent

profluent / PROF-loo-uhnt \ adjective : Flowing smoothly or abundantly forth. Gretel was shocked at the profluent water gushing from the rusty pump at the old well. She jumped back and laughed with childish glee as it splashed onto her knees.

Oracular

wisdom lies in chaos -- a fact i've learned by my waning naivete across the axis of time. the more trouble i endure, the less it troubles me. all things come and go with the wind -- be it light whisper or hurricane -- and all i can do is stand my ground as it softly whistles in my ear or bursts my eardrums. am i a sapling, torn from the earth after germination or am i more invested in the earth i occupy? i am content, today, to be a dandelion, giving of myself to enrich the world around me.

Oracular

oracular / aw-RAK-yuh-ler\ , adjective : 1. Ambiguous; obscure. 2. Of the nature of, resembling, or suggesting an oracle. 3. Giving forth utterances or decisions as if by special inspiration or authority. 4. Uttered or delivered as if divinely inspired or infallible; sententious. 5. Portentous; ominous. Sometimes I suspect sentences encased in fortune cookies are assembled in the same random way as Dada poetry with the same oracular effect. Wisdom lies in chaos, it seems.

schism

did i cause it? my nethers: are they responsible for the division? maybe i should be less obtuse. by playing both sides was i causing a rift? maybe i am equally suited for both but i made my choice -- perhaps i did so without fully considering the other side and yes, i didn't have the opportunity to examine you when he was filling my vision but i need to accept the choice i made even if there were unexplored options. there will always be lands i haven't seen but i got greedy? or did my curiosity just get outside of the bag it was allotted? i want my puzzle piece to align with your own; at the same i know my piece has been aligned with another for eternity. so we're both going our own ways but you need to stop looking at him with those eyes and i need to stop looking you you with any eyes. i feel presumptuous when i think i made such an impact but at the same how couldn't i? you were vulnerable despite having been away from your lady for so long.

continuing

he's in the other room and my eyes are closed even though they should be looking ahead of me my closest friend is 500 miles away and i feel like the lack of estrogen coded to my own is making me miserable. though, to be fair, miserable is not the word. i don't know that a definition exists to explain the lack of lack. i don't have anything to want but i want it anyway. it was only two months (was it that? did it truly happen or was yesterday someone else's past?) i feel like i need to cover my tracks but if feel like doing so would camouflage who i am i am weak and not because i am a woman; i am weak because i breathe and i must rely on inorganic molecules to survive. how strange that the organisms that rule everything are so ruled by everything. God only knows that i am devoid of purpose or do not admit to knowing it. if i had your contact information i would contact you and then be upset at your lack of response you don't give a shit (a

It sucks

it sucks that i think about you when i know i shouldn't. you're a waste of my time and don't give a shit about my time. and yet i think about you nonetheless. natheless, if my smart blog had a say in the matter. why do you occupy my thoughts when you've not occupied my life for a single second this past month. has it only been a month? i seem to have lost the grains of sand that represent your time away or perhaps my own. i tell myself it's just concern for a fellow human -- are you alive? are you well? what's new? surely any stranger could pose these questions. but i'm me and you're you. and i can't help but phantasize about what could have been or could be. my mind is an open book and the pages all blank and the only pen is held in my own fingers and God only knows if you have any concern flowing from your side of the abyss I could very well be talking to a black hole and you're not listening anyway so what does the receiver&

Liege

how can i be liege to my heart when its rhythm shifts without warning, responding to instinctual impulses that threaten to overcome the established hierarchy? the collar 'round my tiny finger marks me his, but is it enough? any good animal tamer knows that i a cage or collar need not be too restrictive, as such means of control establish a monarchy rather than a mutual agreement based on trust. my ring is like a spring, allowing me to look away for a moment so long as i spring back to where i belong. he trusts me to return to home when we meet again,  but do i? the flesh is weak when prodded by the id revealed; can i keep my baser self repressed so as always to base my life around him? basically, maybe...

Liege

liege / leej \ adjective : 1. Loyal; faithful. 2. Owing primary allegiance and service to a feudal lord. 3. Pertaining to the relation between a feudal vassal and lord. liege / leej \ noun : 1. A feudal lord entitled to allegiance and service. 2. A feudal vassal or subject. Liege to long-standing grammar rules, I have difficulty stomaching "they" used as a third-person impersonal singular pronoun.

Cant

i fear my tendency for flowery speech often comes across as a cant. i'll admit to frequent indecision -- i do hail from the lunar court, after all (as my moods testify) -- but i don't wish to repel others with a lack of assertiveness. my inability to assert my needs and desires to all but my closest friends and family is detrimental... it seems my speech fails to encapsulate the fullness of my written compositions. what encouraged this disconnect between text and talk? it is silly to hide behind the screen of the paper when spoken words are so much more efficient... but i cannot abandon the introspection available on the page...

Cant

cant / kant \ verb : 1. To talk hypocritically. 2. To speak in the whining or singsong tone of a beggar; beg. cant / kant \ noun : 1. Insincere, especially conventional expressions of enthusiasm for high ideals, goodness, or piety. 2. The private language of the underworld. 3. The phraseology peculiar to a particular class, party, profession, etc. 4. Whining or singsong speech, especially of beggars. Speak plainly and divulge your requests without hesitation; canting will only decrease my desire to help you.

Hircine, TAKE II

one cannot simply follow exotic paths with a hircine eye seeing sex in every shadow. fertility's inherent to life -- even those deemed barren can create ideas that grow, split, reproduce -- and it's true that sex is never just a means to an end  -- even puritanical peoples cannot deny that fact to themselves, much as they declare for utilitarianism. but sex without depth is empty and meaning is required to make reruns desireable. sweat and breathlessness are well and good but if there's no one there sweating and panting with you that you can admit your vulnerability to, what's the point? if you settle for emptiness, you'll learn to accept it and acceptance of nothingness is a barren field.

Hircine

do i surf the waves of desire or am i destined to drown in its depths? it seems my libido is all ages and none -- mature or naive? am i bound to the grains of sand in the hourglass or unfettered by its glass cage? do i stand on the shoulders of giants or follow footprints i can never hope to fill -- a child wearing adult's shoes, aching for more years under her belt? i must set out on my own, barefoot, forging my own shoes as i go. my steps my cross another's or walk along it for a time but only while we talk to one another. it seems impossible to teach the dead but by making your students their students and interpreting old words with new eyes...

Hircine

hircine / HUR-sahyn\ adjective : 1. of, pertaining to, or resembling a goat. 2. Having a goatish odor. 3. Lustful; libidinous. The old man's long list of misfortunes guaranteed all people encountering him would feel pity. While no exception to this rule, Judy's sympathy was blended with disgust as a result of the hircine suggestions he mumbled whenever she passed his alley of residence.

Bandy

please don't take offense during our silly tiffs as we bandy light insults over Hostess cupcakes. our love lives in the laughter, (drawn from arteries?) even if strangers perceive our arguments as abuses. i'll never forget the shock in old friends' eyes when our bickering offends their sensibilities. we're rougher than others i suppose with our games of "punchbug" and our pet names that qualify as animal cruelty sometimes the raw emotion in those four-letter taboos is what i need to express the savage, primal quality of our connection i feel attached to you in a way far-removed from this false system of etiquette and if others can't accept the blood that beats within my veins and the biting words of my affection that sometimes loose a stream of red so be it. i fuck you; i love you you fucking amazing man.

Bandy

bandy / BAN-dee \ verb : 1. To pass from one to another or back and forth; give and take. 2. To throw or strike to and fro or from side to side, as a ball in tennis. 3. To circulate freely. bandy / BAN-dee \ adjective : (Of legs) having a bend or crook outward; bowed. bandy / BAN-dee \ noun : 1. An early form of tennis. 2. Chiefly British. (Formerly) hockey or shinny. 3. Obsolete. A hockey or shinny stick. The youngest and shortest child in the family, I often played the "monkey in teh middle" as my brothers bandied objects of personal import over my head.

Adamantine

opinions as fixed as the turns of the tide i sometimes expect to be swallowed by quicksand as i rarely stand on solid ground there are a few fixed boulders within this quagmire (you, for example) but should i seek to blend aggregate into this soupy life so i am more resistant to the pressures of feet treading on me? or do i move my surfaces to another site with fewer, lighter footprints? do i change myself and adapt to my environment and the stream of abuses and forces that flog my being or do i change habitats to better suit my species? change is imminent -- but from within or without?

Adamantine

adamantine / ad-uh-MAN-teen\ adjective : 1. Utterly unyielding or firm in attitude or opinion. 2. Too hard to cut, break, or pierce. 3. Like a diamond in luster. Jessica's personal style changed with the seasons; however, her view on shoe-belt-purse coordination was adamantine.

Plenum

bracketed as an editor's note -- never intended or foreseen by the original author but simply added sometime thereafter to better fit the aims of the regurgitator. am i this blurb, commenting on and skewing another's genius and only interfering with the original intent or am i serving a more altruistic and admirable purpose -- to extend the reach of another's wisdom and share its impact by demonstrating its applicability to a later generation? parenthetical addendum perhaps comprising a note readers may choose to overlook but holding value that only a select few of motivated (self-driven? over-achieving?) individuals inspect. am i confining myself to parentheses, tacking the self-worth to assert my own value, quietly inviting others (pleading?) to glance my way? i often undervalue my talents, discarding or setting aside my claims to more. i need to demand respect and prove without a doubt or a second of hesitation that i am a powerful person in my own

Plenum

plenum / PLEE-nuhm\ , noun : 1. A full assembly, as a joint legislative assembly. 2. The state or a space in which a gas, usually air, is contained at a pressure greater than atmospheric pressure. 3. A space, usually above a ceiling or below a floor, that can serve as a receiving chamber for air that has been heated or cooled to be distributed to inhabited areas. 4. The whole of space regarded as being filled with matter (opposed to vacuum). The proposed plenum would more effectively and efficiently heat and cool Robin's multi-level dream home, but the upfront costs far exceeded her very-real available funds.

Ad rem

an ad rem approach is nearly impossible when your mind percolates more than starbucks. simplistic's easier to digest, to follow but lacks excitement, vivacity, doesn't it? i find it hard to eliminate even the "ums" -- they testify to the inertia within my skull. still, i ache for brevity sometimes (my complexities often overwhelm even me). even when my gears are turning at lower efficiency i still fail to speak simply. even when no words exit my lips, do i truly stop speaking? eyes and breath say so much i cannot staunch the flow of ideas from this vessel. can i ever be empty beneath a waterfall? external drops of water upset my equilibrium but internal chaos is productive sometimes.

Ad rem

ad rem / ad REM \ adverb : Without digressing; in a straightforward manner. ad rem / ad REM \ adjective : Relevant; pertinent.  Stu clenched his teeth in what he hoped passed for a grin as his blind date set off on yet another thinly-veiled, boasting tangent. His maximum bench press weight was as ad rem in their discussion as BDSM in a Sunday School class. Almost.

Bespeak

do my thoughts bespeak my status as a writer or just a human? does hearing symbols' cymbals evidence my literary voice or just my standard eardrums? does my eloquent self-doubt imply confident expression or just simplistic oblivion? who am i, wearing two shoes? fit they well, a pair of equals that carry me down the same path of physical space-time while they tread with dissimilar rhythms -- one swaggers while the other skips. cursed i am to stand so close to falling or am i blessed in this imbalance?

Bespeak

bespeak \bih-SPEEK\ verb : 1. To show; indicate. 2. To ask for in advance. 3. To reserve beforehand; engage in advance; make arrangements for. 4. Literary. To speak to; address. 5. Obsolete. To foretell; forebode. Jerry's three-piece suit bespoke his promotion long before the new reached the water cooler.

Vilipend

vilipend / vil-UH-pend \ verb 1. To regard or treat as of little value of account 2. To vilify, depreciate Jess took every opportunity to vilipend Valentine's Day -- popping heart-shaped balloons, defacing greeting cards, dismantling expensive flower bouquets. Part of her ached to be caught, if just for the opportunity to vent her frustration with her pitiful love life.

The chordate's cordate confusion

i sometimes doubt my classification. i feel so spineless  despite every effort to stand my ground vulnerable as an invertebrate slug murdered with a little salt. can i learn to stand up  or will i forever lie down, my body torn apart by spring winds? perhaps i should stop clinging to what i want and allow someone wiser to give me what i need. me of little faith! do i simply need to forget what i know and let the truth wash over me? i fear that i cling so hard to what i think i need i leave no time to think about what i need.

Cordate

cordate / KAWR-deyt \ adjective 1. Heart-shaped. 2. (Of leaves) heart-shaped, with the attachment at the notched end. A dozen discarded pieces of red and pink paper encircled him and stood testament to his failure. Puffing in frustration, Tony attempted once more to cut a perfect cordate for the prettiest girl in class.

Ouroboros

a piece of advice regarding fire spreads as wildly as it ever did, burning through lobes and librettos. exoteric to the point of adage  - and yet -  just as common: conscious ignorance! seeing eyes blinded, hearing ears turned deaf - a steep price to pay to push desire over mountains sherpas circumvent! a people whose icy surroundings demand flames' creation  to extend exposure to the elements remain vigilant;  untended fires hold danger even in snow. - and yet - even the vigilant turn to fire to fuel their engines, stepping into the fiery ring, inviting the cremation of living, breathing flesh,  expecting the warmth of desire  to desublimate into something tangible. is it ignorant to step into the fire, sentient of your body's fate? years ago, men heaped honors upon this ilk - we speak of them in hushed voices: those whose lives were sacrificed to build legends. who has the authority to determine desires' value and determine those pursuits eligible for martyrdom? deep

Exoteric

exoteric / ek-suh-TER-ik \ adjective 1. Suitable for or communicated to the general public. 2. Not belonging, limited, or pertaining to the inner or select circle, as of disciples or intimates. 3. Popular; simple; commonplace. 4. Pertaining to the outside; exterior; external. Brian ignored the exoteric caveats against credit card dependence and handed his Visa to the cashier. Bankruptcy be damned, he would have that new flat-screen TV.

Auscultation

auscultation / aw-skuhl-TEY-shuhn \ noun The act of listening to sounds within the body as a method of diagnosis. One of my many childhood aspirations (however fleeting) was to become a veterinarian. I remember visits to a friend's playroom and hours occupied examining teddy bear patients. Given the brevity of my youthful attention span, I would quickly grow tired of imagining heartbeats to auscultate. Our mothers, interrupting our diversions to deliver snacks, were actually more likely to find the plastic stethoscope pressed to our own chests as we spoke in silly voices and squealed in delight.

Tunneling through Trash

i need to call the trash company today but i can't muster up a screed even though they've left the recycling bin behind for four consecutive weeks and their negligence is detrimental to my unspoken resolution to be greener do i let too much go and accept too much by being laid-back and carefree? should i foster darker feelings and trade my tranquility for spikes in blood pressure so i can stop middling and accepting mediocrity and require more of myself? am i thinking way too much about something so little? i think it's time for me to call the trash company and get it over with.

Screed

screed \ skreed \  noun   1. A long discourse or essay, especially a diatribe.   2. An informal letter, account, or other piece of writing. 3. Building Trades.   A. A strip of plaster or wood applied to a surface to be plastered to serve as a guide for making a true surface. B. A wooden strip serving as a guide for making a true level surface on a concrete pavement or the like. C. A board or metal strip dragged across a freshly poured concrete slab to give it its proper level.   4. British Dialect.   A fragment or shred, as of cloth.   5. Scot.   A. A tear or rip, especially in cloth. B. A drinking bout. screed \ skreed \  verb   1. Scot.   To tear, rip, or shred, as cloth. Stan's screed on responsibility quickly made his young daughter regret her neglect of Patrick the goldfish. It would be another fifteen years before she tended another aquarium -- and that at the req