Skip to main content

meaningless

By
i look back on this year and i see a big waste of 365 days.
what did i do with all this time? what do i have to show?
a whole lot of nothing,
my pockets emptier than before
my heart more broken than before.
i have less today to hold close than i had a mere 30 days ago
my father doesn't breathe this air anymore
dead
dead
dead
and it hurts to think that i spent all those years building nothing
and i hurts to think that i ran away from home in a sense
that i wasted three years with a guy who didn't give a shit about the family
who cares more for me than we ever let on.
is there something wrong with me that keeps me from shouting out how much i love these people?
i don't know why it's so difficult to speak
so difficult to express how much i cherish our moments
how little i make of the little time we have together
is it a mistake to let things just be
should i strive for more purpose
or just bask in the joy that is togetherness?
why do i always need to make things so damn meaningful?
the search for meaning is meaningless
i should just create meaning or something
what do i mean?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ostrich

By
Too afraid to stand and fight; Too much pride to fly away. Cowardice: immobilize Egos lacking skill to play! Games of conflict can’t be played By those afraid to deal a hand. Flightless birds avoid their call Ostriching heads in the sand.  Thanks, Trifecta for the prompt, which requested an animal name be used as a verb. I figured I might as well ignore the dictionary and make my own...flightless birds have always intrigued me, anyhow.
7 comments
Read more

on the surface

By
on the surface of the moon my feet are as light as my cares tonight but my world's just as empty and the space just as dark and the moon dust obscures the best stars in the sky so I look deep inside and I search for deeper meaning but I've been running on bingo fuel since long before we landed. the craters are only deep enough to cradle my head as I lie down to cry or fall down to die -- time will answer that riddle
Post a Comment
Read more

Out-of-Practice Practicing

By
i haven't decided yet what i'm gonna write here but that's the point i suppose -- to purge all the scum floating on the surface of my brain, to shake the dust off, whatever. today is valentine's day, which excites me because hearts are my favorite colors and sweets are on my list of favorite things. i like the idea of doing something important or meaningful but either nothing of import has happened on this day for me. which is not to say that none of my lovers made an effort, just that none of them made enough of an effort for me to notice. that doesn't mean i'm asking a lot, just asking for the right thing. like some people don't push any of my buttons at all, and some push some pretty nice ones but less and less over the years does he push the ones that i need. and fluff without substance is not enough to sustain me. i guess it was enough for him but there was something missing that grew more and more evident over the years. until i had to leave. blabbit...
Post a Comment
Read more