[The
hardest thing about growing up is] the feeling I get in my stomach,
wondering if Im going to screw up everything for myself. I wonder if everything will work out, I wonder if I can live on my own later. I worry about everythingIm paranoid. But its the hardest thing. That and saying goodbye to all the things you knew before whether it be a friend, family member, memory, or just your attitude. Yeah,
that really bites: losing the attitude of a child where everything is
so amazing and youre so happythen all of the sudden, youre [pissed off]
all the time and worried about whats going to happen and then you
discover what can only be called phantom worries. A plague of the teenage years, full of worries like Am I self-centered? Inadequate? Unprepared? Lazy? Useless? Psychotic? And they never seem to stop. There is no escape.
maybe i should just stop trying so hard. i mean, i still need to be focused writing reading singing laughing cooking but i can loosen up and not be a prescriptionist about everything or perhaps not.
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