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what is going on here?

i volunteered for three things two days ago, joined five or six new meetup groups about writing, and used seventeen number-six decals on the posters i made for my last satanist worship service.

i also learned how to fix a faucet. But that was a few months ago, and then, only after attempting and failing to complete the job myself. (So much torque that I just don't have in me.)

when i was fourteen, i was younger.

when i was seventy-three, i didn't.

this has become quite freeform, and i don't know what to do with that. i feel as if i might, in the near future, mine this post for some interesting bits that could grow into something but really don't believe in the post as a whole.

it was very good. it was good. that was good as well. um, definitely helped out. you're my favorite.

f-a-v-o-u-r-i-t-e

origami where's my mommy please don't call me it's so balmy and it's calm. she thought that a paper crane would probably be a nice gift, if just because she could fake some deep feeling and make an EXPERIENCE out of the gift giving ("this crane is significant because...") and get away with spending like a dollar for fancy paper and about ten minutes to find the folding directions on the internet and perfecting it. Fake affection if you really feel it's a good idea.


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You stay silent, so afraid to engage, in fear that you'll go getting carried away. ** I'd rather have your hatred than your apathy / apathetic ambivalence. Your indifference is more painful than your ire. ** Give me anger, just don't give me fake smiles / plaster a smile on your face (to appease me) ** Your indifferent posture hurts much more than your ire ** Just going through the motions, I'm an empty husk when you look at me. ** I can't have it all, but I want you to have a chance to ** Not knowing if you're okay makes it hard for me to be. ** The indifference differential / different / indifferent ... [word play] ** Crucial crushing credibility [word play] ** Wonderful wind tremble fright things pretty in daylight go bump / sound scary / take harrowing looks into your soul at night

thirsty darkness

She  stood aloof nothing stood in the way of her purpose. buffeted by the cool winter breeze, nothing stood but She had watched others fall to the whirr or tumble into thirsty darkness but she refused to let the world assign her pain. Her pain was her own. She stands calmly, patiently awaiting tomorrow. will it bring an end or another beginning? what use in new predictions? tomorrow we chase the yesterdays we did not catch today.  (again.) She will herald the end to nothingness by giving in to it and tumbling into thirsty darkness as winter blows itself away ...Prompted by the 100 Word Song writing challenge at  My Blog Can Beat up Your Blog .  T his week's track: Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down".