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free (but you'll still want a refund)

Listening to some pretty bomb tracks by Daniel Merriweather, who really never got any time on the radio except for his cover of "Stop Me" produced by Mark Ronson (who also produced another dope track by Lily Allen).

That's the answer to your unasked question of "What are you up to tonight, Emily?"

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In fact, I am purging all the bullshit nothingness that is at the surface of my mind so that we can get to something halfway decent or worthwhile. What will I discover when the hard candy shell is broken to reveal the caramely center?

And yet --

I would so like to watch a moving picture instead of forcing myself to have something to say.

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Tomorrow, I will awaken around 9:17. Jason and I will go to Café 33 for breakfast, where I plan to have a caramel toffee iced coffee, a delicious omelette full of delicious vegetables, and cheddar stone ground grits. (In case you're wondering, this meal sounds amazing because it is.) I will take Jason to work, go to my eye doctor appointment, visit Charming Charlie's, hang with Kara for a bit, make lunch, watch more Parks & Rec, and forget that there are only 24 hours in one day.

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You stay silent, so afraid to engage, in fear that you'll go getting carried away. ** I'd rather have your hatred than your apathy / apathetic ambivalence. Your indifference is more painful than your ire. ** Give me anger, just don't give me fake smiles / plaster a smile on your face (to appease me) ** Your indifferent posture hurts much more than your ire ** Just going through the motions, I'm an empty husk when you look at me. ** I can't have it all, but I want you to have a chance to ** Not knowing if you're okay makes it hard for me to be. ** The indifference differential / different / indifferent ... [word play] ** Crucial crushing credibility [word play] ** Wonderful wind tremble fright things pretty in daylight go bump / sound scary / take harrowing looks into your soul at night

Masquerade

I suppose I should feel fortunate. I've been with the same man for six years, I've worked for the same company for nine years, I've lived in the same state for ten years. But my college diploma says "English" and my job screams "Business" and I fear that this life I’ve built is Stagnation masquerading as Stability. I’m not planning on doing something drastic like running off to join the circus or the Scientologists or anything, but maybe I should just stop planning for a change. Stop standing still. Do something spontaneous. I am too young to feel this old. --- Thanks for the 100 Word Song prompt, Lance (of My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog ). This brief introspection was inspired by Elvis Costello's "Brilliant Mistake".