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Drip

i cannot get a steady flow
just a drip drip drip
my mind is clogged with rust
unused and unappreciated
i have no schedule
i have no consistency
so when i finally decide
its time to write
i drip drip drip
this pitiful attempt
to unstop the clog
should be ignored before its read
i wish i had consistency
i wish it were easy
but ease is a sign of
working below your level
its not easy
difficulty is a blessing
i need to embrace that idea
i must challenge myself
so i can advance
or i'll be stuck on the ground floor

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You stay silent, so afraid to engage, in fear that you'll go getting carried away. ** I'd rather have your hatred than your apathy / apathetic ambivalence. Your indifference is more painful than your ire. ** Give me anger, just don't give me fake smiles / plaster a smile on your face (to appease me) ** Your indifferent posture hurts much more than your ire ** Just going through the motions, I'm an empty husk when you look at me. ** I can't have it all, but I want you to have a chance to ** Not knowing if you're okay makes it hard for me to be. ** The indifference differential / different / indifferent ... [word play] ** Crucial crushing credibility [word play] ** Wonderful wind tremble fright things pretty in daylight go bump / sound scary / take harrowing looks into your soul at night