hmm

i've never known
what kind of person i was meant to be
that's truer now today.

without you here
my voice of reason
has lost its voice


i don't know up from down
i can't stop hating myself for meandering
and it's true:
i've never been direct
but i'm feeling pretty pointless
right about now.


the point is
i need you here
and i don't know how to float on my own
so i think i'll drown for a while



maybe i wasn't
meant to lean on you so hard that i
couldn't stand on my own.
but this must be
the cruelest way
to learn the lesson

how can i fill myself back up
when you helped me build the self i was?
i don't recognize myself these days
and the mirror's a stranger
that i want to shatter
and build back again.