One-A-Day

a fast Audi runs with the fervor of an antelope, but not as the one chased (the prey). nay, this one runs TOWARD inevitable death, a sure catastrophe at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

excuses pile upon e x c u s e s as the days fly by, as i fritter the moments away. the garbage man comes but i'm not ready to part with all my excuses -- come back another day! these walls i build make me feel safe and secure. a delusion, i know, but i can't accept myself for who i am so i lean on the external world to define my self-worth. why can't i bring myself to remove this mask of weakness when i see its outline clearly in the mirror? why am i content to settle for easy when a little work would change my world?

i want to reach out but can't if i plan to make the point i set out to make. i can't let you control me by growing dependent on your approval but my thoughts prove i already am. one day, too soon, i will cave and invite you back into my caverns. spelunking is a funny word but magnetism is only science and physics are only funny if your glasses are thicker than mine. who is this girl trying to explain chemicals, trying to deny pheremones' pull trying to be something other than the positive to your negative? why deny the undeniable? pushing what pulls you only keeps you still pull me close and push against my walls until they tumble down.

sometimes you get me. you get me like nobody else. ferreting out secrets and impulses i've hidden even from myself. you'll dig up a skeleton one of these days something i buried lifetimes ago before i'd learned just how long the dead go on living. but how long will it take you to recognize those bones as your own? will tomorrow be our last day of lies or our first day of truth? life or death: you decide.

falling asleep as i sit my body hasn't exerted itself today not much, anyhow. but my eyes burn and itch to close again. what's on the other side of those eyelids tonight? nonsense or something easier to interpret? do you wait for me there, being the person i imagine you to be, doing the things i imagine you to? i hope so because it's been a boring day and i could use some intrigue.

I have a mere fifteen minutes to post before the clock turns tomorrow into today, so haiku seems manageable. I was a bit sad to learn that my go-to site for haiku inspiration, Haiku Heights, no longer exists; however, I learned of another forum for haiku lovers called  Carpe Diem . The topic wasn't explicit today, but the originating post involved the theme of emptiness in Buddhism. A few syllables, then. half empty, half full drink it down to fill it up life's propelled by change -- [Are you sure  about that last line?] I imagine I could go deeper (why yes, I do  believe she said that) with the topic but my heart is set on a YouTube karaoke playlist rather than typing away right now so I'll leave things there for now. I may very well be back after I've sung a few tunes... (Or I may just sing myself to sleep.)

You have a memoir site to look at called Footsteps in the Hourglass .

3148666666688986669 That was a little poem my dog Kara wrote, slamming her paw on the keyboard to try to get my attention. I obliged, giving her a little scratch under the chin. She's dozing off now. I need a little inspiration to jump start my brain today. (It seems that as my mood swings from melancholia to joy, my creative well dries up a bit.) I turn today to  The One-Minute Writer , who challenges writers to consider weird and awkward dates . I can think of two such dates, though I'm unsure one minute will be enough time to discuss ONE. Oh well; here goes. ... my parents didn't trust him because i met him online and perhaps i shouldn't have either but that is looking back and looking forward to our potential future there was no room for fear no time to hold back so he took me from the safety of my home to a pool hall of all places a / dark haven for dark things. the setting should have been my first clue -- but i was seventeen and hadn't ta...

I haven't written today Which seems a failure If you look at it In the span of days, This one being empty. But it's so full Of joy Of socialization Of life. Ill let this one go without a composition Because it's composed of life Which keeps me from decomposing

i volunteered for three things two days ago, joined five or six new meetup groups about writing, and used seventeen number-six decals on the posters i made for my last satanist worship service. i also learned how to fix a faucet. But that was a few months ago, and then , only after attempting and failing to complete the job myself. (So much torque that I just don't have in me.) when i was fourteen, i was younger. when i was seventy-three, i didn't. this has become quite freeform, and i don't know what to do with that. i feel as if i might, in the near future, mine this post for some interesting bits that could grow into something but really don't believe in the post as a whole. it was very good. it was good. that was good as well. um, definitely helped out. you're my favorite. f-a-v-o-u-r-i-t-e origami where's my mommy please don't call me it's so balmy and it's calm. she thought that a paper crane would probably be a nice gift, if just...

lying alone in the hallway as amber light floats from a single dirty bulb (but the fixture isn't terrible) there's a reason to go and a place to be but i can't move... tomorrow is crawling ever closer but i shouldn't let it drift away. i had the urge to get loftier and parade around some morals meant to keep the emotional wellness high but i'm not done soul-searching and i have fewer answers than before. so exit stage right, trumpets: there'll be no fanfare tonight. no, tonight i hear a distant trumpet and a bongo once and again and again once and again. and the moon shines high above the world and it's cold and inviting all at the same time a lover who turns her cheek but turns her cheek, her body curving into you but her beautiful face, lips, eyes, BRAIN pull away. she's not here: in this world of stability and predictability. there's no space for different in a world of same. and maybe she needs excitement. yes. she d...

pleasure trumps pain but pain lets me know i'm still alive. dulling a blade only makes it harder to use. twenty smiles blend into one over time but i still feel every stab. Slice me open and let me live again.

i did a whole lot of nothing yesterday cleaned my face and teeth put on pajamas set my mind to no uncompleted goals so we sat devoid of pretense (aside from whatever we bring to the table naturally) the morning and early afternoon passed without incident but the air we exhaled was rich with meaning what does it mean that there's an invisible string and it feels so natural to behave unnaturally who are you to me i haven't decided

the chill outside pales, comparing itself to the chilly interior. the vacuum pulls you to me but it's not gravity; you won't stay forever. but will you stay tonight? will you stay tonight? there's heat enough between us two to become arsonists -- just just how prolific's up to you. ashes, ashes we all fall down. but will we die tonight? will we die tonight? the silence stretches 'cross yawning crevices how is it nothingness can echo so loud? your matter-of-fact demeanor cuts me deeper than we'd ever dreamed. but will we speak again tonight? will we speak again tonight? [double-time percussion propelling ballad forward -- perhaps delay this effect until first chorus]

the sun one day will fade away the moon's already on its way but i have got you here with me so that's okay as darkness spreads across the sky and living things lie down to die i'll keep you here right by my side so that's okay the tears in my eyes carry us away the blood in my heart will feed us for days i'll hold you so tight while evil things play and that's okay that's okay [soaring violin solo] the tears in my eyes carry us away the blood in my heart will feed us for days i'll hold you so tight while evil things play and that's okay that's okay